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Seven Vital Tips for Thriving
- By Jamie Walters
- Published 01/25/2008
- Personal Development
Jamie Walters
Jamie Walters is an inspired 'creative inquirist', transformation guide, inspiration catalyst, and "prophet of an emerging new economy of intelligent, caring, cutting edge entrepreneurs.
She is the founder of Ivy Sea, Inc., author of Big Vision, Small Business the handbook for conscious SOHO/Solo enterprise published by Berrett-Koehler — and Leading at the Visionary Edge (forthcoming from ICFAI University Press). She is also the creatrix of Ivy Sea Online.
Having navigated the waves and tunnels of deep change and challenging transformation herself — both as an individual and as an enterprise founder Jamie is passionate about holding the lantern, sharing insight, and guiding others so that theirs may be an easier way.
Visit Ivy Sea Online.
The first step in thriving at any given time is to make the choice and set the intention: "Regardless of what's going on around me, regardless of the temporary circumstances at any given time, I choose to thrive."
Once you've decided to thrive rather than simply survive or eke out a life, there are many practices and resources available for you to play with.
Here are a few; you'll find more ideas and practices at Ivy Sea Online and in my blogs.
Shift your orientation from 'outside in' to 'inside out'.
In Western culture, and American culture in particular, most of us have been very well trained to become someone other than who we are.
We operate by a very narrow set of outside expectations and definitions of 'success', and set about forgetting what really matters to us -- silencing the voice and wisdom of our hearts and souls -- to morph into the best possible version of the Good Daughter or Son of the Patriarchy.
Even when the result is disharmonious, unbalanced, depressing, fatiguing, and deadening, our training tells us to 'buck up', 'go along to get along,' and 'deal with it', for the promise of … what, exactly?
If nothing else is clear from the events of the past decade, it's that what we thought constituted 'security' and 'success' has been shown to be the impostor and havoc-wreaker that it is. The jig is up; the fake has been outed.
In 2008, I prophesy that playing it false will be out of fashion, and unveiling and expressing the True You will be very much in vogue.
'Success' will be redefined. By you, according to your own soul-defined standards, according to how it makes your gut and mind and body and soul feel.
If the feeling is joyful, harmonious, and healing for you, then you will be a joyful, harmonious, and healing force for those around you. May it be so.
How do you do this? Cultivate a new relationship with your own juicy center -- your heart and soul. It will guide you well and true.
Decide that you thrive in uncertainty.
Make this proclamation right now: "I thrive in uncertainty; uncertainty brings me alive and delivers wonderful new blessings and opportunities into my life."
I suggest this because, by all counts, things are -- as a rule of Nature and right now on the planet -- very uncertain.
Our assumptions that things are static, secure, controllable, and certain have not delivered us to great places -- we all pretty much know that 'change is the only constant'.
Maybe it's time we decided that we really can, after all, learn to surf change and thrive in uncertainty.
I've always loved the quote from Immanuel Wallerstein, who said, "If everything is uncertain, then the future is open to human creativity, to possibility and therefore to a better world."
Phrased another way, if everything is certain, thoughts of creativity, possibility, real wealth (aka wellbeing), and a better, healthier world are moot.
Since creativity, possibility, real wellbeing, and a better, healthier world are desirable, it follows that uncertainty -- in which such wonders are gestated and from which they're birthed -- may not be half-bad.
Choose joy and grace.
In the Spring of 2005, just past the nadir (that's the rock-bottom) of a long walk through 'Dark Night of the Soul' land, a mantra of sorts erupted out of my spirit and then my mouth in a burst of spontaneity:
"I want more joy, colorfulness, and grace in my life."
I said it with serious conviction, too. I really, really meant it.
I had no idea at the time just how that was going to happen, exactly, and the several years just prior weren't shining examples of it.
But lo and behold, as 2005 unfolded, I started seeing more and more 'evidence for grace'; joy, colorfulness, and grace were indeed weaving themselves once more into my experience.
They were always there, no doubt, but in a moment of connection with my heart and spirit, I made that choice and uttered that prayer.
So rather than creating mantras like, "I hope such-and-such doesn't happen…", why not make a choice and voice a mantra filled with joy, colorfulness, and grace?
Upgrade your mental ecology (aka 'choose your thoughts and patterns mindfully').
The quality of our notions defines the quality of our experience, and often the quality of the quantity in our lives as well!
This is even true in the midst of the most horrible circumstances and experiences, as Psychiatrist and Holocaust survivor Victor Frankl wrote about so movingly in the book, Man's Search for Meaning.
While I see the merit of the 'Law of Attraction' as it has been popularly presented recently, there is a deeper, more embodied experience we're going for here in choosing more wisely just what it is you allow into your awareness -- or allow to move in and set up house.
The Rev. Dr. Michael Beckwith, in his book, The 40 Day Mind Fast Soul Feast (how fun is that?), shares a Chinese proverb:
Just because there are birds flying all around your head doesn't mean you have to let them build a nest in your hair.
Negativity may be flying around you; naysayers about; and yes, it really can be the case that a Negative Ned or Nelly is standing at the ready to dump buckets on the tiny, fragile flame of your vision and passion.
Notice that they're there, but don't let them make a nest in your hair.
Set an intention to notice where your mind and energy wander off to when they're on auto-pilot, and do your own little audit regarding whether that's what you want nesting in your hair and defining your experience.
The quality of your notions affects the quality of your experience -- and your ability to tap into and shine those amazing gifts of yours into the world.
Follow Your Energy to Your Heart's Passion.
Something in your soul nudges you and wanders off from time to time in hopes that you'll follow. It wants to lead you into your most vital authenticity, creativity, and joyful expression.
Too often, we ignore it -- not because we really want to, though we might, in some part, be terrified that it'll lead us out of the roost of status quo (called 'normal').
The Poet David Whyte, in Clear Mind, Wild Heart, shares a story from his own journey into authentic and joyful livelihood.
The gist of Whyte's story was that fatigue, burnout, a feeling of drudgery or unending 'efforting' and the need to 'will-power it to death' are all the results of not putting our energies into what has real heart and meaning for us.
Whyte describes this as, "That for which you have a deep affection."
Your energy and attention want to go towards that for which you have a deep affection. They want to go where the Heart leads them. And they will, and you'll feel their absence unless you make the conscious choice to align with them once more.
Inquire. Start a whole new conversation with your heartfulness and your energy. Ask into what truly it is that you have a deep affection and passion for.
You'll discover your very own wellspring and a sure-fire inner-compass.
Choose to communicate skillfully and well.
We communicate in three areas, for the most part:
- With our higher guidance, intuition, or the Divine
- With ourselves
- With one another
The latter, 'with one another', includes the communication we do within groups and between organizations, as well as our interpersonal communication with another individual.
Health and skillfulness in all three areas is vital, because it ripples outward into the quality of interactions and relationships, locally and globally.
Watching what's happening on the world stage right now, it's pretty clear that skillful, dignified, humane communication has gone by the wayside, badly.
But communication on the global scale is just a reflection of interpersonal communication -- and interpersonal interaction is a reflection of the dialogues we've got going on within us and with our 'Higher Selves' and/or the Divine, by whatever name we call it.
Wise women and men through the ages have said it many ways: The change starts within, with a change of heart and mind.
While it can often seem overwhelming to watch what's happening in the world and wonder how we -- little ol' 'we' -- can do anything remotely helpful, the fact is that what we think, what we choose, and how we interact with those around us makes an enormous difference.
Let me say that again: What you think, what you choose, and how you interact -- in your daily life -- with those around you makes an enormous difference.
For 2008, set the intention to cultivate a more skillful, dignified, and respectful communication relationship with yourself, those around you, and that which is beyond you - Spirit, G-d, Allah, Goddess, the Universe.
It's a wonderful, rich practice; and has a wonderful, healing ripple effect.
Once you've decided to thrive rather than simply survive or eke out a life, there are many practices and resources available for you to play with.
Here are a few; you'll find more ideas and practices at Ivy Sea Online and in my blogs.
Shift your orientation from 'outside in' to 'inside out'.
In Western culture, and American culture in particular, most of us have been very well trained to become someone other than who we are.
We operate by a very narrow set of outside expectations and definitions of 'success', and set about forgetting what really matters to us -- silencing the voice and wisdom of our hearts and souls -- to morph into the best possible version of the Good Daughter or Son of the Patriarchy.
Even when the result is disharmonious, unbalanced, depressing, fatiguing, and deadening, our training tells us to 'buck up', 'go along to get along,' and 'deal with it', for the promise of … what, exactly?
If nothing else is clear from the events of the past decade, it's that what we thought constituted 'security' and 'success' has been shown to be the impostor and havoc-wreaker that it is. The jig is up; the fake has been outed.
In 2008, I prophesy that playing it false will be out of fashion, and unveiling and expressing the True You will be very much in vogue.
'Success' will be redefined. By you, according to your own soul-defined standards, according to how it makes your gut and mind and body and soul feel.
If the feeling is joyful, harmonious, and healing for you, then you will be a joyful, harmonious, and healing force for those around you. May it be so.
How do you do this? Cultivate a new relationship with your own juicy center -- your heart and soul. It will guide you well and true.
Decide that you thrive in uncertainty.
Make this proclamation right now: "I thrive in uncertainty; uncertainty brings me alive and delivers wonderful new blessings and opportunities into my life."
I suggest this because, by all counts, things are -- as a rule of Nature and right now on the planet -- very uncertain.
Our assumptions that things are static, secure, controllable, and certain have not delivered us to great places -- we all pretty much know that 'change is the only constant'.
Maybe it's time we decided that we really can, after all, learn to surf change and thrive in uncertainty.
I've always loved the quote from Immanuel Wallerstein, who said, "If everything is uncertain, then the future is open to human creativity, to possibility and therefore to a better world."
Phrased another way, if everything is certain, thoughts of creativity, possibility, real wealth (aka wellbeing), and a better, healthier world are moot.
Since creativity, possibility, real wellbeing, and a better, healthier world are desirable, it follows that uncertainty -- in which such wonders are gestated and from which they're birthed -- may not be half-bad.
Choose joy and grace.
In the Spring of 2005, just past the nadir (that's the rock-bottom) of a long walk through 'Dark Night of the Soul' land, a mantra of sorts erupted out of my spirit and then my mouth in a burst of spontaneity:
"I want more joy, colorfulness, and grace in my life."
I said it with serious conviction, too. I really, really meant it.
I had no idea at the time just how that was going to happen, exactly, and the several years just prior weren't shining examples of it.
But lo and behold, as 2005 unfolded, I started seeing more and more 'evidence for grace'; joy, colorfulness, and grace were indeed weaving themselves once more into my experience.
They were always there, no doubt, but in a moment of connection with my heart and spirit, I made that choice and uttered that prayer.
So rather than creating mantras like, "I hope such-and-such doesn't happen…", why not make a choice and voice a mantra filled with joy, colorfulness, and grace?
Upgrade your mental ecology (aka 'choose your thoughts and patterns mindfully').
The quality of our notions defines the quality of our experience, and often the quality of the quantity in our lives as well!
This is even true in the midst of the most horrible circumstances and experiences, as Psychiatrist and Holocaust survivor Victor Frankl wrote about so movingly in the book, Man's Search for Meaning.
While I see the merit of the 'Law of Attraction' as it has been popularly presented recently, there is a deeper, more embodied experience we're going for here in choosing more wisely just what it is you allow into your awareness -- or allow to move in and set up house.
The Rev. Dr. Michael Beckwith, in his book, The 40 Day Mind Fast Soul Feast (how fun is that?), shares a Chinese proverb:
Just because there are birds flying all around your head doesn't mean you have to let them build a nest in your hair.
Negativity may be flying around you; naysayers about; and yes, it really can be the case that a Negative Ned or Nelly is standing at the ready to dump buckets on the tiny, fragile flame of your vision and passion.
Notice that they're there, but don't let them make a nest in your hair.
Set an intention to notice where your mind and energy wander off to when they're on auto-pilot, and do your own little audit regarding whether that's what you want nesting in your hair and defining your experience.
The quality of your notions affects the quality of your experience -- and your ability to tap into and shine those amazing gifts of yours into the world.
Follow Your Energy to Your Heart's Passion.
Something in your soul nudges you and wanders off from time to time in hopes that you'll follow. It wants to lead you into your most vital authenticity, creativity, and joyful expression.
Too often, we ignore it -- not because we really want to, though we might, in some part, be terrified that it'll lead us out of the roost of status quo (called 'normal').
The Poet David Whyte, in Clear Mind, Wild Heart, shares a story from his own journey into authentic and joyful livelihood.
The gist of Whyte's story was that fatigue, burnout, a feeling of drudgery or unending 'efforting' and the need to 'will-power it to death' are all the results of not putting our energies into what has real heart and meaning for us.
Whyte describes this as, "That for which you have a deep affection."
Your energy and attention want to go towards that for which you have a deep affection. They want to go where the Heart leads them. And they will, and you'll feel their absence unless you make the conscious choice to align with them once more.
Inquire. Start a whole new conversation with your heartfulness and your energy. Ask into what truly it is that you have a deep affection and passion for.
You'll discover your very own wellspring and a sure-fire inner-compass.
Choose to communicate skillfully and well.
We communicate in three areas, for the most part:
- With our higher guidance, intuition, or the Divine
- With ourselves
- With one another
The latter, 'with one another', includes the communication we do within groups and between organizations, as well as our interpersonal communication with another individual.
Health and skillfulness in all three areas is vital, because it ripples outward into the quality of interactions and relationships, locally and globally.
Watching what's happening on the world stage right now, it's pretty clear that skillful, dignified, humane communication has gone by the wayside, badly.
But communication on the global scale is just a reflection of interpersonal communication -- and interpersonal interaction is a reflection of the dialogues we've got going on within us and with our 'Higher Selves' and/or the Divine, by whatever name we call it.
Wise women and men through the ages have said it many ways: The change starts within, with a change of heart and mind.
While it can often seem overwhelming to watch what's happening in the world and wonder how we -- little ol' 'we' -- can do anything remotely helpful, the fact is that what we think, what we choose, and how we interact with those around us makes an enormous difference.
Let me say that again: What you think, what you choose, and how you interact -- in your daily life -- with those around you makes an enormous difference.
For 2008, set the intention to cultivate a more skillful, dignified, and respectful communication relationship with yourself, those around you, and that which is beyond you - Spirit, G-d, Allah, Goddess, the Universe.
It's a wonderful, rich practice; and has a wonderful, healing ripple effect.