Have you ever noticed that much of what we talk about with others isn't all that inspiring or positive? Even the most positive people I know will admit they spend more time than they’d like to admit talking about, listening to, or engaging in conversations about “bad stuff.” Gossip, complaints, worries, frustrations, and annoyances are often the tone or topic of much of what we discuss with the people we work with, live with, and spend time with.

It’s important for us to notice this and be conscious of what we say and the conversations in which we engage. Our words don’t just describe, they create. I recently heard someone talking about the difference between being a “thermometer” (which simple tells the temperature) and a “thermostat” (which sets the temperature). We have to ask ourselves which one are we?

What we focus on and what we choose to talk about has a lot to do with our mood, our attitude, our relationships, our ability (or inability) to inspire others, and so much more. I’m not advocating that we live in denial, pretend things are perfect, or avoid dealing with the issues or challenges around us. However, we each have a choice about what we say, how we say it, and what kinds of conversations we choose to engage in on a daily basis.

I challenge you to upgrade your conversations. Pay close attention to what you say. See if you can talk more about the good stuff, express your gratitude and appreciation for others and life, and look at what’s right more often than what’s wrong. Our words have much more power than we think. Choose your words wisely and talk about the good stuff as much as possible. When you do, you’ll notice that there will be more good stuff to talk about, it will be more fun, and people will want to be around you!

Ask people about the good stuff in their life and share with others about the good stuff in your life. Here are three simple ways to do this:

1. On your outgoing voicemail message, ask people to tell you something they’re grateful for. You’ll be amazed by the messages you get…believe me, I know!
   
   
2. When you interact with friends, co-workers, or even strangers, ask them “What’s the best thing that has happened to you today?” or something similar. See what kinds of conversations emerge from these types of questions.
   
   
3. When people ask you how you are doing see if you can focus on what you appreciate about your life in an honest way (remember to be a thermostat not a thermometer)